Hmmm…so I sort of feel like diverting attention from my proud parenting moment that I shared yesterday. That was horrible awful timing. I wrote that post ahead of time, scheduled it, and then….the night before it was set to go live, we had an embarrassing parenting fiasco. What’s the line? “They’ll turn you into a liar every time….”.
Yeah, so instead of telling you all about the ginormous tantruming and the fall out from that, let me distract you with some pretty flowers.
Sometimes we reach a new level of parenting…okay, that was obvious and an understatement. We’re constantly reaching new areas of parenting, issues we’ve never dealt with. I heard someone once say that if you haven’t learned flexibility before becoming a parent, then you will either learn it as a parent or get broken in half.
I don’t want to publicly embarrass my child, so I’m not going to share the story of what exactly happened…but it was clearly inside the lines of developmentally normal behavior.
My buttons have been pushed a lot this past week. It just feels like part of a cycle. For some reason it helps me to recognize when a string of events is upsetting me, then I know that the brunt of my anger need not get concentrated on one particular person or aspect of what is going on. After bed time for the children last night, Tommy and I sat down and had a long talk about patterns of behavior.
When we decide to make a change in what we’re doing, or implement a big consequence, it’s usually with one of these talks. We strongly appreciate the use of natural consequences with our children, and so that’s where we started last night. I remember another such time that we were having issues with one of our daughters. It was a couple of years back, and she had been repeatedly drawing and coloring on different walls, furniture, etc.
I found the evidence of the drawing 1 hour before we needed to leave for a children’s ballet, an event that she had been looking forward to for weeks. The easy thing to do would have been to take away the ballet…or threaten to take it away, but then allow her to go at the last minute. However, what I was really angry about was the feeling that my child was trying to punish me with extra housework.
I’m not sure if that’s what she was trying to do, but that’s what was making me angry. So Tommy and I had a quick little powwow and decided that she had to thoroughly clean up all of the “artwork” and get herself ready in time to be able to go to the show. I decided that I was not going to help, and I was not going to stress out about it. It was her choice.
She cleaned up her mess as fast as she could, and we had barely enough time to make it to the ballet on time. That was the last time she drew on furniture or walls….We’re in new territory now. It’s all so much more emotional. It’s much more about manners, respect, and courtesy. I don’t have much hope that there will be a tidy little ending like: And that was the last time she ever hurt my feelings or was disrespectful….because, yeah…..Oh look, more flowers.