I have been getting choked up over the last few weeks every time I think about Zadi’s wedding. My very first memories revolve around her. She’s my baby sister, my first confidant, and my partner in crime. I have spent much of my life wanting the best for her, and wanting her to get what she wants…..gah…not going to start this weeping thing again…moving on.
I have a thing about weddings, and important days in general. My theory is that the less pressure you put on the day when it comes, and the more relaxed you can be, the more you enjoy it. I swear on my wedding day about 12 things went wrong at the last minute. And yet I sort of floated through the day and just let it be, and some of the things that went wrong turned into my favorite aspects of the day.
For example, I had carefully picked all of the music for everyone to walk down the aisle to, and I’d borrowed my maid of honor’s stereo to pipe music out to the orchard where we were going to have the ceremony. About half an hour before the ceremony it started raining, and we had to scramble to set up inside the barn. However, the stereo had gotten wet and wasn’t working. However, we had a friend present who was going to be playing a song later in the ceremony and he happened to know Canon in D (which I had chosen to walk down the aisle to). So we got the acoustic version of Canon in D, and it could not have been more perfect.
My point is that I feel like on your wedding day it’s best to go in with the attitude that some things are going to go wrong, and to just roll with it. If I had flipped out about the music, I could have been tense and freaking out while walking down the aisle, rather than soaking up the love of those in attendance. Thinking back, the worst that could have happened would be silence as I walked down the aisle, and that could have been beautiful and unique all on its own.
So as Zadi’s wedding approached, I was a bit nervous. My sister is not exactly known for her laid back attitude when it comes to this sort of thing. She’s more assertive, and take charge. With this in mind I was a little nervous that she might have a difficult time adjusting to the reality of the day. She was a bit tense when I talked to her in the weeks leading up to the wedding, but in no way was she pressureful (that’s not a word, but let’s go with it) about what I was or wasn’t doing, and it just seemed that she had a lot on her mind, which I’m sure she did…since she has a full time job as an ER nurse, is in grad school, AND was planning a wedding with 250 expected guests.
But like I said, I was nervous. Matron of honor is such a big job. You’re supposed to keep everyone in line, and insulate the bride from any undue stresses the day of…there are tons of other duties that maids/matrons of honor have, but for me these were the big ones. Since I have the twins, other bridesmaids had planned the shower, the bachelorette party, and Mama had been the one to help with the decorations. So I saw my big contribution being support on the wedding day, and, ya know, my speech.
The day didn’t start out that great for me though. Three days before the wedding, the boys stopped sleeping at night. They were literally crawling all over me in the middle of the night. They were feverish, and cutting teeth, and had a bit of a cold. My butt was dragging during the following days. So much so that my plan of having everything packed for the wedding the night before was not met. We went to bed with the clothes mostly washed, but hardly anything packed.
At 3:40 the day of the wedding both twins woke up and were wide awake and playing with one another. I was glad they were feeling better. I was so wired myself about the wedding excitement that I got up and folded and put away laundry for the following week while they played (Tommy did too…although he was less than thrilled about this). A little after 5 AM the boys were ready to go back to bed, so I layed down with them to nurse and go back to sleep.
Getting ready that morning was a blur. I kept thinking of other hair accessories, jewelry, and other essentials that we needed to take to the venue. The six of us were going together to the rehearsal, and then we would be heading to the hotel room that my parents had reserved to get ready in. Then the ceremony, the reception and then we had volunteered to take the wedding gifts back to Zadi’s and stay the night so that the wedding gifts would be safe and sound at home, and we would be able to get the brunch food out and prepped for guests the following morning when the happy couple would be checking out their loot…I mean opening presents. So we were having to wear regular clothes, bring our wedding attire (bridesmaid dress and all the trimmings, flower girl dresses and all the trimmings, Tommy dress clothes, and twin baby dress clothes) plus pajamas and toiletries and everything needed to spend the night somewhere. Anyway, by the time that we got that all ready to go and were leaving, it was about ten till 9 and we were rushing out the door. We were supposed to be at the rehearsal at 9 am.
We got there about 10 minutes late and ran to the venue, and tried every door on the bottom floor…Of course the last one was the open one. This was probably the one single point during the day where I felt truly freaked out. Waiting for the elevator, and not knowing if everyone was waiting for us.
We arrived up in the room where the ceremony was going to be held just as the entire bridal party came in. It seemed like perfect timing, and I was so thankful to not have held up the rehearsal. Zadi seemed a bit stressed, but nothing unmanageable. At this point I should mention one of the unique aspects of the wedding. They had decided to have an ARMY of groomsmen. 18. Yes, you read that right. Eighteen groomsmen.
And nine bridesmaids, so every bridesmaid was going to walk down the aisle with two groomsmen on her arms. With a younger bunch of men, this could not have been possible…and mayhem would have ensued. The rehearsal was slightly rowdy, but nothing that you wouldn’t expect from a big bunch of jokesters. And even during the run through of the ceremony, there were many wet eyes (including mine). I so enjoyed seeing my future brother-in-law choke up as he practiced saying his vows.
Then we ate.
Then came the flurry of getting ready for pictures, the pictures, and then the wait.
It was at this time of day when Zadi and I had a couple of moments together. She thanked me later for helping to manage her stress. I’m not sure I actually did much, but I did notice her start to relax.
Time drew nigh.
It was fully my intention to write one very long post about this wonderful day, but as I’ve been stealing moments to work on it all week without finishing it, I suppose I’ll have to post it in parts. In the mean time, are your siblings married? And what was the wedding experience like for you?